Attention/Crutch

So, I decided to do an interesting thing today for my blog. I’m in class right now and I’m going to describe the attention span and different noises around me.

Right now, we’re studying principles of God (blech) and there are about five people with their Bibles out following the instructor. About once every minute six separate people cough. There are sounds of people blowing their nose almost constantly. The girl right next to me is reading a book. The guy on the right side of her is talking to the girl behind him, and the girl two desks up and one left of me is making different signs to communicate across the room. The girl in the front left corner is drawing, and I can smell Purell being poured out of a bottle now. The guy one desk behind and one left of me is tapping on his coffee mug, and now he’s tapping his cheeks and making an O with his mouth. Kind of an odd noise. There is a distinct sound of papers ruffling nearly constantly, and the clicks and clacks of the keys under my fingers are quiet even though they generally will gather attention. Now our instructor is reading into a music stand again so none of us can hear him. Uh oh, a question. None of us really know the answer, no one was paying enough attention. Good news though, we got him to repeat it and explain it more. Now a few people can bullshit their way through it and try and impress him.

I suppose I’m doing this for a couple reasons. First, I want to say that the attention and focus of the American youth has deteriorated. I can’t imagine why… oh wait, yes I can. Any show has commercials, and both the shows and commercials bombard our minds with quick, sharp images and move on to the next image quickly. There’s a lack of concern for those who truly do have Attention Deficit Disorder because so many people claim to have the disorder. When in truth, very few people actually have it; they just get bored too easy from having so many different things to do. You realize, it’s generally people who can afford to fill their lives with meaningless activities that claim to have the problem. I suppose I’m a skeptic when it comes to ADD claims. In my days, I’ve really only met one person I thought had ADD, and I was his tutor. My god, if I did not hold his head down on his book, he would not do his work. People need to learn how to be bored, myself included. The value of a lecture (maybe not this lecture though) is in the monotony of it. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll miss something and be remiss when it’s time to review, the material.

On to the next topic; this one being a little more personal than random thinking. You know who you are. You know why I do what I do. You know I do it because it’s the way I relate to people. I tease them. I joke around with them about them because I love them. If I don’t do that, I most likely don’t care about them. You know I care about you, so why I ask, is it when I tease you more than other people, a clear indication that I enjoy your company, you feel the need to lash out and attack me. There is a clear distinction I sensed between when I know you’re playing with me, and what I heard and got from you today was far less than decent treatment, especially to the one person you claim you can actually trust. You attacked me, wittingly or not, you still did it. Why not just suck up that fact that you actually have to deal with the issues and not just push them off under you, over you, and ESPECIALLY not onto me. I am not a crutch to be used. I am a person who WILL give a shit about your life, IF you choose to let me and IF you do not prove to me that you are not worth my trust, my faith, my love, or my tolerance, I WILL drop you out of my life without hesitation. The worst part about it, is after I call you on it, explain why it upsets me, and genuinely try and calmly explain it to you, you try and turn it around and blame it on me. It is not my fault if you fail to come to me and tell me what is over the line. That, my possibly former friend, is the bottom line. The even MORE offensive portion is what your away message turned into, and I do quote here, “And just when I thought I could get two nights of sleep in a row >.>” So, let me get this straight. Not only are you blaming me for you snapping at me, your having a miserable day, and our argument, but now you’re blaming me for your lack of sleep. Go to hell.

And, lastly today, I thought I would leave you with a quote of my own.

“Things don’t get better, they get worse. The difference is when you start to make things get better.”